“We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow-men; and along those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects” ~ Herman Melville
Throughout my journey as an environmental leader, I’ve learned that communication is essential. The words we say and the ways we interact contribute to our karma in ways that can harm, and ways that can heal. The tools of empathetic attunement, resonance, and nonviolent communication have proven especially helpful in this realm. For example, it is often more impactful to speak clearly but kindly to someone, inviting them into open dialogue, instead of pushing them further away with discursive language. As Marshall Rosenberg, the pioneer of nonviolent communication, would say, we need to speak peace in a world of conflict.
I’ve often noted that we’re not going to solve any problems by fighting about them, and that when I think about creating a better world, the paradigm of conflict is not the world I am working to preserve. This means becoming aware of not only my actions in the outer world, but in the ways I communicate inside myself. This way of living has impacted my daily life in such a way that I’ve gained a greater sense of compassion for myself and others, and I’ve become much more willing to engage with multiple perspectives, knowing that both sides can be heard, and are equally valid.
Healing, like life, happens in the present. “You heal by talking about what’s going on in the moment, in the now” (Rosenberg, 2005, p. 72). Rosenberg suggests not going into the stories of the past, but expressing what of the past is still alive in you now. Sharing what is alive in my feelings is an expression of vulnerability. It helps to assume that in any moment, I’m doing the best I can, with what I have, and where I am. Assuming this helps assume the best in others, which aids in the safety created when I hold space and ask questions.
Resources
Rosenberg, M. B. (2005). Speak peace in a world of conflict: What you say next will change your world. PuddleDancer Press.
